


I'll Catch You When You Fall

by FiliKiliThorinForever



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: ...maybe, Car Accidents, Derogatory Language, Fili needs saving from himself, Grief, Kili might just be what he needs, Lifeguard Kili, Lifeguard fic, M/M, Self Loathing, Slightly chubby Fili, Smaug the flying furball of fury, Things will get better, asshole rich kids, at least at the beginning, bullying behaviour, haunting dreams, thoughts of self punishment, weight loss
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-01
Updated: 2016-05-13
Packaged: 2018-05-30 12:44:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6424663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FiliKiliThorinForever/pseuds/FiliKiliThorinForever
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Two very different people, two very different lives.</p><p>Kili, heir to the Erebor estate and all her businesses is a down to earth, fun loving guy who can be found with his friends when he's not studying or working as a lifeguard at the family owned Sports Centre.</p><p>Fili, a student who has suffered a recent loss is struggling to deal with his grief in the midst of an internal crisis, which is made worse when he finally plucks up the courage to try and sort out his life.</p><p>Two very different people on course for a very big collision. </p><p>One that will change their lives forever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 5th January - Kili

**Author's Note:**

> Ok so this was an idea that kind of formed because of multiple influences.
> 
> I signed up to the local Sports Center recently so I could start swimming on a Saturday as the gym I go to is closed by the time I finish work. When walking through to the changing rooms and examining the pool area for the first time and seeing the lifeguards on patrol the idea for a lifeguard fic was triggered.
> 
> The second influence was because of the fact that I was a bit nervous about going swimming for the first time in a long time and had to walk past a bunch of people in the main pool to get to the lap pool. Nothing happened unlike what happens in this chapter, but it was pretty easy to imagine.
> 
> Fili's mindset will get a little bit dark with his self loathing a couple of times before we reach the end, and the things he will contemplate doing... let's just say they're not made up. I've been fighting the weightloss battle for many years, and while I'm not massive I'm nowhere where I would like to be in my looks and weight. Going through high school and being bullied does have it's lasting effects on a teen, and much of what will be going through Fili's mind in later chapters was also going through my mind back then.
> 
> This shall have a happy ending (I know weird right?!) but it will take some hard yakka (hard work for those unfamiliar with Kiwi slang) for them both to get there in the end!
> 
> I hope you enjoy! This is my first attempt at tackling a very real issue for many people!
> 
> As much as it breaks my heart I do not own the writings or the characters of The Hobbit or Lord of the Rings, they are the wonderful and exclusive workings of J.R.R Tolkien

When Kíli woke up that hot summer's morning, little did he know his life was about to change.

Right from the get go he knew it was going to be a weird day. It had started with him waking with a gasp to find his ginger flying fluffball of terror Smaug sitting on his face, likely trying to deliberately suffocate him. After a brief wrestle which involved much swearing and several scratches to his face and chest Smaug was thrown off the bed, Kíli cursing the cat’s existence as he made his way to the bathroom to check the damage.

Once he was satisfied it wasn’t too bad he’d gone to the kitchen only to find that there was no milk or bread in the fridge, which he no doubt had his infuriating flatmates to thank for. So unless he wanted dry cereal it seemed there’d be no breakfast, or at the very least it would be something he brought from the supermarket on his way to work.

After a quick shower he was out the door and into his car which, considering his luck this morning so far thankfully started.

After that, everything went well.

Until he got to work.

As the supervisor in charge of the pool that day he was the one who got to open and check all the pumps and pools before the rest of the staff arrived. This was why the last thing he expected to see when he did his rounds was their large spa pool with nothing more than two inches of water at the bottom.

“Oh come on,” Kíli groaned as he hurried around to the back room, checking the different pumps and machines until he found the draining pump had been left on overnight. What made matters worse was the main water pump had stopped working near the end of the shift the day before, so there was no way to fill the pool for it to be ready by the time they opened.

Great.

With a huff he switched the engine off and pulled out his phone, dialing Gimli who was the weekend maintenance man and his best friend and explained the situation with no small amount of grumbling.

 _“Geez Kee,”_ Gimli laughed _, “keep your hair on, I’ll be there soon. When you’ve finished opening grab the hose and start filling it up, I’m not sure how long it’ll take to fix and the sooner it’s filled the better. Now stop being a whiny bitch or I’ll throw you in the pool when I get there.”_

So that’s where he was two hours later, standing with a hose and slowly filling up the large spa while watching over the main pool and debating whether or not he needed to have a word with the bunch of rich arrogant teenagers that were mucking around and annoying everyone else.

Before he could decide Gimli wandered over, wiping his hands on a rag with a smug look on his face. “All sorted?” He asked hopefully. Standing around and filling the pool all day had not quite been how he imagined his day going, although with how his morning had started it hadn’t come as much of a surprise, but he’d already suffered through an hour of the tedious task and wasn’t really wanting to do it for much longer.

“All sorted,” Gimli agreed with a laugh. “I’ve just got to check one more thing then you’ll be free to be a pool statue.”

He stuck out his tongue as Gimli wandered off, and it was because of his friend’s disappearance that he realised with some annoyance the teenagers were yelling louder than they had been before. As he went to turn the hose off he heard what they were saying and it made him whip around furiously.

“Oi fatty!” One of them yelled, pointing and laughing at the blond that had just left the changing rooms, “wouldn’t you be more comfortable in a pig pen you whale?”

There was an explosion of laughter from the group, several of the girls making pig noises as they all pointed and laughed.

Kíli was speechless. The blond that was the target of the group’s insults wasn’t overly big, sure there was a bit of a stomach on him, and his thighs were a bit flabby, but he wasn’t huge like they were making him out to be. What was worse was that said blond had his shoulders hunched and his head turned away, as though every word was a physical blow.

“Knock it off!” He ordered storming over, hose still in hand to where the teens were huddled. He passed the blond and gave him what he hoped was a friendly smile, but there was no response except for the flash of haunted blue eyes glancing at him briefly before being hidden away by golden tresses once more. “This is my pool and I do not appreciate any form of bullying behaviour, you got me?”

The one who appeared to be the ring leader scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Oh piss off you fag,” he drawled, “what are you going to do? Throw a flipper at me?”

This prompted another round of sniggers and Kíli saw red. He stuck his thumb over half of the hose so it became a more concentrated stream of water and squirted the teen in the face making him splutter in shock before swearing at him.

“You’ve fucking done it now you faggot, wait until my father hears about this -”

“Oh I look forward to it,” he retorted angrily, “especially when I tell him exactly why I’ve chosen to ban all of you from the center permanently!”

“What-”

He smirked. “That’s right, banned. You and your little cronies here. This center is not only here for everyone to use, but for everyone to enjoy and I will _not_ have a bunch of nasty and pathetic teenagers verbally abusing any of the other patrons!” The teen looked like he was about to spit fire, Kíli thought, or take a shit in the pool with the way his face had gone all red.

He really hoped it was the first.

“You can’t ban us! You don’t have the permission to do so!”

“Oh,” he chuckled, thoroughly enjoying the way this was going, especially when he saw everyone else in the pool watching with unconcealed glee, “yes I do. Didn’t you know it’s my family who own this building?”

The red shade that the boy’s face was sporting quickly turned pale. “You’re a _Durin_?!”

The shock and horror in his voice was like the icing on the cake. “Yes, and you are a spoilt, repulsive and now banned rich brat. I should warn you that if you even _think_ about trying to get anyone else involved, I have about thirty witnesses who will corroborate my story for your behaviour that could have you charged with harassment. Now get out of my pool.”

A cheer followed by a round of applause echoed through the pool area as one by one the teenagers climbed out of the pool and trudged towards the lockers. Gimli, Legolas and Tauriel had come over part way through the argument and cheerfully helped to escort the group off the premises, each of them having had difficulty with the group in the past and more than glad to see the back of them for good.

 

 

It was only once the group was gone that Kíli remembered the blond at the center of the abuse. With a quick word to Tauriel to cover his spot he headed off towards the lap pool where a handful of people were swimming the lanes, but after scanning each person closely he couldn’t see him anywhere.

Frowning he turned around, thinking he might have gone to one of the other pools when he spotted the man coming out of the other changing room fully dressed, a white knuckle grip on his bag as he tried to sneak away.

“Oh geez,” he sighed, hurrying as safely as he could on wet tiles over to the man’s side. “Hey, wait!”

The blond hesitated, and Kíli was certain he was going to try and rush out the door away from him. To his relief however the man’s shoulders sagged in defeat just as he came up beside him, head down as he stared resolutely at the floor with his hair hanging low enough to hide his eyes.

“Hey,” he greeted kindly, only to pause when the blond didn’t respond. With the way he tried to hide his face from view and the way he held himself Kíli could tell that he didn’t have a lot of self-confidence, and with what those assholes had been yelling at him it had likely made it worse. “I’m so sorry about that,” he tried instead, “this center is for everyone to use, and for everyone to feel comfortable in. Those idiots had no right to open their mouths and say anything to you in the first place, and I’ve banned them from the facilities for good to make sure it doesn’t happen in the future.”

“You shouldn’t have done that,” the man replied softly, turning his head just enough for Kíli to see part of his face and his red rimmed eyes. The knowledge that the man had been crying made him want to march outside and punch each and every one of those bastards for being so cruel. “They were only telling the truth anyway.”

He gaped visibly at the words; mouth opening several times while he tried to process what had been said. “No, they weren’t,” he said eventually. “There is nothing wrong with the way you look my friend, and even if you think there is, which there _isn’t_ ” he reiterated, “the fact you’ve come in here to swim and try and make a difference already puts you above assholes like them. You should be proud of yourself and the way you look, and if you shed a little bit of fat in the process then that’s something to be proud of too.”

The man turned and looked at him fully now, and Kíli couldn’t help how attractive he found him. He didn’t normally go for blond’s, but there was something about this man and the way he looked that made him undeniably curious.

“It might be fine for you to be all body positive Mr Athlete’s Body,” he growled, “but it’s easier said than done for the rest of us. And who’s to say that’s why I’m here in the first place huh?!”

Kíli held out his hands in a peaceful gesture, wincing internally at his assumption. “I’m sorry if I’ve offended you for it wasn’t my intention,” he told him, “and I’m also sorry you think that, but I won’t apologise for my beliefs. You’re an attractive man,” and he certainly was despite what the man thought about himself, “and the fact that you can’t see what I and many others see is something you will have to work on in your own time. Please, stay and use the pool like you planned to. Those idiots are gone and no one else here will bother you.”

After a moment’s hesitation the man nodded and turned back to the changing rooms with a sigh, but before he could disappear Kíli called out to him.

“Hey! By the way if you ever want to talk or want some advice my name is Kíli.”

The man turned his head just enough to show he’d heard him and gave a slight nod before disappearing into the changing rooms, not stopping to provide a name of his own.

Despite the lack of information Kíli stood there with a tiny smile, bemused and more than a little intrigued by the mysterious man before shrugging his shoulders and heading back to the pool.

He’d find out what the blond’s name was in due time, all he had to do was be patient.

Easy.


	2. 5th January - Fili

**A/N: Hello everyone and welcome back!**

**Wow, the response to the last chapter was _amazing!_ All your comments were so wonderful to read and I shall get around to replying to them, promise! I think one of the motivators for writing this story, and especially since I decided to do both of their POV's to make it a bit more of a well-rounded story, is that not only can I share some of my experiences and continuous battles with weight loss, but also help those who have never struggled with their weight (although I'm sure everyone has had negative thoughts about the way they look at sometime or another) understand what it is that those of us who are bigger than society says is acceptable goes through. Both internally and externally.**

**Because sometimes seemingly innocent comments can cause, sometimes irreversible, damage.**

**Now just in case anyone thinks the beginning seems all over the place with Fili’s thought patterns I feel it’s important to point out that thoughts about the way one looks can (in my experience) be triggered at any moment. In my teenage years I could be having a perfectly good day, then catch sight of myself and start thinking horrific things about the way I looked, how I was never going to find a boyfriend etc and it made me feel awful, especially when all the girls in my class were slim and good looking and constantly talking about the guys flirting with them. Talk about being an outsider!**

**Unfortunately for Fili he has a lot of emotional baggage, and being overweight (and everything that often comes with that) will create some difficult times for him. But it will get better!**

**Special shout out to[AnimeGrl2519](http://archiveofourown.org/users/AnimeGrl2519), [EllGaine](http://archiveofourown.org/users/EllGaine), [Belyria](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Belyria), [DreamingMymmeli](http://archiveofourown.org/users/DreamingMymmeli), [padfootyoudog](http://archiveofourown.org/users/padfootyoudog), [bloatedblond](http://archiveofourown.org/users/bloatedblond), [Milliegirl21](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Milliegirl21), [Silva_13](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Silva_13), [waterlilyblue](http://archiveofourown.org/users/waterlilyblue), [Finduilas88](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Finduilas88), [AndersB](http://archiveofourown.org/users/AndersB), [bammes](http://archiveofourown.org/users/bammes), [pandorasxbox](http://archiveofourown.org/users/pandorasxbox), [LadyBardock](http://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyBardock), [bindsy](http://archiveofourown.org/users/bindsy), [mjeanuniverse](http://archiveofourown.org/users/mjeanuniverse), [ThornyHedge](http://archiveofourown.org/users/ThornyHedge), [MILOMOUSE](http://archiveofourown.org/users/MILOMOUSE), [SarcasticSmiler](http://archiveofourown.org/users/SarcasticSmiler), [islandkate](http://archiveofourown.org/users/islandkate), [Blueskydancers](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Blueskydancers), [ktime](http://archiveofourown.org/users/ktime), [Januarytale](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Januarytale), [BBCJ](http://archiveofourown.org/users/BBCJ), [Eldariel84](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Eldariel84), [Anankastic_Eosphoros](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Anankastic_Eosphoros), [Bagofangrykittens](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Bagofangrykittens), [BlackberrySage](http://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackberrySage), and [Chelidona (Hobbity)](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Hobbity) as well as the 16 guests who've commented and kudosed, you guys are awesome! **

 

* * *

  

When Fíli woke with a terrified sob that morning, he couldn’t help but wonder why.

Why was the world so cruel as to allow him to see another day; a sunrise that shed beautiful golden light onto a world that should have been clouded over in grey?

The grief that they had promised him would slowly abate over time was as fresh in his mind as if the accident had happened yesterday. Every morning he woke meant another without the one person who he had always been there for him, through thick and thin always by his side.

Now every morning meant another where he had to face the world alone.

He knew it had been three months since the accident, and that he should have felt something other than this all-encompassing anguish that threatened to eat him from the inside out, but being alone in the house he had known since birth with constant reminders to what he had lost in his short life…

He wasn’t sure how much more grief his battered soul could take.

Knowing there was no chance of falling back asleep with the sound of screeching metal and sirens still ringing in his ears Fíli manoeuvred his tired body until he was leaning against the headboard, scrubbing at his aching eyes to rid them of the sleep and tears that lingered.

“Why did you have to leave me?” He whispered hoarsely, head falling back to gaze up at the ceiling as though he might see him watching over him, “I don’t want to do this anymore. I _can’t_ do this anymore.”

Because what was the point? What point was there in living a life alone when happiness seemed forever out of reach?

A knock on the bedroom door drew him out of his musings, and he stared at it in confusion. There shouldn’t be anyone else in the house; there was no one else who _could_ be in the house so who…

Before he had the chance to wonder if he’d imagined it there was another knock, followed moments later by a soft call.

“Fíli? Are you awake?”

He heaved a sigh, having forgotten that his uncle had a key and was over every few days to check on him. “I’m awake Bilbo,” he confirmed, loud enough for him to hear and seconds later the door was opened to reveal his uncle standing there with a worried frown.

“Are you ok? I thought I heard you crying.”

The curly haired man walked into the room and perched himself on the end of the bed, concern and sympathy in his green eyes. Now that he was closer he could see the drying tear tracks on his nephew’s flushed cheeks and the glassy sheen of his eyes. “Oh Fee,” he sighed, placing a hand on the nearest blanket covered foot. “Bad dream?”

“The same one Bilbo,” Fíli sighed. “It’s always the same one.”

The older man’s heart went out to his nephew. He had lost so much already, and to be haunted by dreams of the accident on top of everything else was something he shouldn’t have to deal with.

“I thought you said it would get easier,” the blond continued, and Bilbo squeezed his leg gently when his voice wavered ever so slightly. “I thought it was supposed to stop hurting.”

“Fíli, look at me,” he ordered in a quiet voice, waiting until his nephew looked up at him before continuing. “Everyone grieves differently, and everyone heals differently too. There’s no shame if it takes you four months or four years to come to terms with what happened, trust me I know. It took me years to get over Shelly’s death, but at the same time I had my family there to support me, just like you do. Take it one step at a time kiddo, if you try and rush it you’ll only make it worse in the long run. Now,” Bilbo hopped off the bed and rubbed his hands together, fixing his nephew with a stern look. “Time to get out of bed mister, I brought Frodo with me and we’re having a cooked breakfast this morning.”

“Frodo’s here?” The mention of his wild little cousin was always guaranteed to bring a small smile to his face and banish his more sombre thoughts. “Where is he?”

“In the kitchen getting the food organised.” Bilbo replied, opening the curtains and windows before heading for the door. “Oh and considering I haven’t had a chance to buy him chocolate this week, I suggest you get up and hide all of yours unless you want him to steal it,” the older man added with a smirk before disappearing.

Eyes widening in alarm Fíli threw himself out of his bed. “FRODO!!” He yelled down the hall when he heard twin laughs coming from the kitchen, “TOUCH THAT CHOCOLATE AND I’LL NEVER LET YOU COME TO RUGBY PRACTISE AGAIN!!”

“Prove it!” came the responding screech that only a seven year old could manage. “Cause that Toblerone looks real good!”

“Little thief,” he muttered fondly, scrubbing his eyes free of any remaining tears. He grabbed his Captain America t-shirt out of the cupboard, giving it a sniff to see if it was one he had worn recently and satisfied it passed the smell test he put it on. It was as he was half way through getting into it that he noticed it was a bit tighter than usual, the material clinging in places a bit more uncomfortably than it had done a few months ago.

He looked down at his stomach and frowned, fingers poking at the stomach that was protruding further than he remembered. Before he had a chance to think on it further Bilbo called his name so he hurried out to the kitchen where the sight of his cousin holding the Toblerone like a baseball bat had him charging over and hefting him into the air with a playful roar, his dream and the size of his clothes forgotten.

 

* * *

 

After much playful bickering and no small amount of tickling the small group were eventually seated at the table and enjoying their cooked breakfast with Frodo filling them in on his friends’ antics at school over the last week much to Fíli and Bilbo’s amusement.

To his relief, Bilbo and Frodo’s presence had been the distraction he had badly needed. Every dream he had of the accident wore him down further and there were morning’s where he wished he would just die in his sleep if to spare him from the pain of his loss. Having both of them there to check up on him, even on days he wished they wouldn’t, was the only thing that kept him going.

“Fíli?”

He blinked, looking up to find Bilbo holding a plate of bacon and cooked bananas. “Sorry Bilbo, what was that?”

“Did you want some more?”

The blond started to nod, but it was as he reached across to grab the plate that he caught sight of his reflection in the window.

_Fat._

_Overweight._

_Repulsive._

_Ugly._

The sight of himself made the lingering taste of his breakfast turn to ash in his mouth, the smell of bacon and waffles suddenly making him want to vomit.

He pulled his hands back quickly as though burned, closing them into fists and swallowing harshly. As he blinked back the tears that threatened to rise he pushed out his chair, barely giving Bilbo a whispered “excuse me” as he rushed to his room while the thoughts he had tried to ignore for so long pushed their way to the forefront of his mind.

He was fat and repulsive, and his reflection in the window disgusted him; no wonder no one had ever expressed any interest in him. Being gay was hard enough at his age, but gay and fat? It was the perfect recipe for spending the rest of his life alone. Struggles with his weight was nothing new, the battle was one he had been fighting for years with restrictive diets and supposed magic pills that were ‘guaranteed to help you lose weight’, but ever since the accident he had turned to food for comfort and it was only now he had seen the evidence of what he was becoming.

He hadn’t even made it to his room when a hand on his elbow stopped him in his tracks. Sighing quietly he turned hollow eyes on his uncle, the evidence of his newly-forming tears making his eyes glisten.

Bilbo’s eyes widened at the sight of his nephew’s sadness. He wasn’t sure what had triggered the tears, but he knew that he and Fíli needed to talk about whatever was bothering him before the blonds mind became his greatest enemy. Without looking away from his nephew he turned his head enough to call over his shoulder.

“Frodo, clean the table then start your homework. Fíli and I need to talk.”

A head of unruly curls popped around the doorframe as the seven year old pouted at his father. “But dad…”

“No buts. The sooner it gets done, the sooner we can go to the pool.”

A long winded groan was the only response he got, and despite his mood Fíli’s lip quirked at his cousin’s protests. Frodo caught sight of it and cocked his head to the side. “You ok Fee?” He asked quietly, the worry in his eyes making him seem older than he was.

“I’ll be fine kiddo,” Fíli sighed in defeat, turning away to hide his face from his cousin.

Bilbo shooed his son away, who stomped off to the kitchen with a final grumble. Shaking his head fondly he ushered his nephew into the bedroom and joined him on the edge of the bed, watching in growing concern when Fíli buried his face in his hands.

“Talk to me Fee,” he encouraged gently, rubbing a hand up and down the blonds back, “I want to help but I can’t if I don’t know what the problem is.”

There was a mumble, and with a sigh he tugged on one of Fíli’s arms. “In English would be nice, I don’t speak mufflon.”

Fíli snorted weakly and looked up, his red rimmed eyes filled with pain. “I’m disgusting,” he repeated quietly, “I’m fat and ugly and I’m going to end up alone.”

Bilbo blinked in surprise at this sudden turn of events. He opened his mouth to say something, anything to reassure his nephew but… he didn’t know what to say.

Because what do you say to something as unexpected as that?

Taking his uncle’s silence as a confirmation of his fears Fíli buried his head in his hands with another sob, his shoulders trembling as he started to cry.

The whimpers were enough to snap Bilbo out of his stunned silence. He wrapped his arms around the blond and pulled him against him, resting his cheek against the back of Fíli’s head and whispering sweet nothings in his ear in an effort to calm him down.

It took a while, but eventually the crying stopped. Taking it as a sign that Fíli would be ready to listen he drew him up until Fíli’s head was resting on his shoulder and pressed a kiss to his temple. “Fee, I want you to listen to me ok? You are not fat, you are not repulsive and you are certainly not ugly. Whoever put those thoughts into your head are idiots, and I swear if I ever see them I’ll make them regret the day they opened their mouths. Don’t laugh,” he scolded lightly at the wet, barely there snort, “I’m serious.”

“Bilbo, you won’t even kill a spider.”

“Because they aren’t a threat, and besides they’re good for the garden,” he replied primly. “Now there is nothing wrong with the way you look. Any man would be lucky to have you; you’re a wonderful person with an amazing mind. You’re a real catch.”

Fíli pulled away with a huff, wiping his eyes harshly. “No, Bilbo, I’m not. The only ones who say that are you and your friends. A person’s mind is not what guys look for these days, trust me.”

The older man had no reply to that. It broke his heart to see his nephew so despondent, so broken because of his own self-loathing. A thought struck him then, one that he hated but one he knew that ought to be said. If being brutally honest was what would get through to Fíli, then perhaps it would be the push he needed to take control of his life that was slowly spiralling out of control.

He bit his lip, weighing up the pros and cons of what he knew he should say, whether it was worth the risk of potentially making things worse.

The sight of fresh tears hardened his resolve.

“Fíli, I want you to listen to me ok?” He waited until there was a nod before moving forward with his thoughts before he chickened out. “If your weight is bothering you as much as it clearly is then maybe it’s time to do something about it. You’re young and there is plenty of support out there to help you get rid of the fat, you can’t sit here moping about your weight because at the end of the day it won't do anything except make you feel worse about yourself. You have to take the bull by the horns and tackle it head on, just like every other person who hates the way they look.”

“Why can’t I be naturally skinny like everyone else?” Fíli huffed, swiping at his eyes angrily, “their lives are so much easier.”

Bilbo cuffed his nephew over the back of the head and glared back at Fíli’s annoyed look. “First of all, you’ll find many people who are naturally skinny have no muscle mass because they don’t exercise, and are in fact unhealthier than those who are more bulky because they eat so much junk food and know they can get away with it. You’ll also find many are skinny because of things such as eating disorders. When I was at school a good friend of mine who had been overweight decided starving himself was the best course of action to lose weight. He lost it alright, and ended up in the hospital because of it. He went about it the wrong way and nearly killed himself instead of asking for help and getting the support and advice he needed.” The stunned look on the blond’s face told him the thought of illness being a reason for some people to be skinny had never crossed his mind.

“That’s right Fíli, he nearly died because he didn’t ask anyone for help and let his mind get the better of him. The hospital organised for a nutritionist to come and talk to him and do you know what she said? She said ‘you do not want to be skinny, John, you want to be fit and healthy.’ And I’ll say the same to you Fee; you want to be fit and healthy, just like every other athlete out there, just like every movie star. They have muscular thighs and toned bodies because they work out and they work hard. Now,” he stood, placing a hand on Fíli’s shoulder and squeezing gently, “Frodo and I are going to the event centre later on and they have pool and gym facilities there, so I think you coming along would be a good idea because you can talk to them and they will be able to set you on the right path.”

He moved to the door and looked over his shoulder at his nephew who was hunched over, his head bowed and face hidden by golden locks. “You need to either accept the way you look or do something about it Fíli, it’s the only way you’ll be happy.”

 

* * *

 

Bilbo had honestly thought it would just be him and Frodo going to the pool as Fíli hadn’t ventured out his room since he left had him in there, nor had he responded to the calls of his name. So when the blond appeared with a towel under his arm and a bag over his shoulder Bilbo couldn’t help the swell of pride that filled him.

It would take Fíli a long time to be happy with the way he looked, but at least he was taking the first step.

Nodding at Fíli he led them out the door and to the car, making sure Frodo was secured in his booster seat before hopping in the driver’s side, and with Frodo chattering happily in the back and Fíli staring silently out the window they headed off to the centre.

The drive didn’t take long and soon enough they were pulling into the carpark and climbing out in an unorderly fashion. After collecting their bags the small group made their way to the reception, Frodo taking Fíli’s hand and tugging him along while talking excitedly about all the tricks he was going to try do on the slide with Bilbo humouring him with impressed noises.

Just as they reached the reception Frodo let out a shriek that bounced off the walls in an explosion of noise, making everyone in the foyer wince in pain.

“Frodo!” Bilbo scolded, glaring at his son as he rubbed his ears, “how many times must I tell you to use your inside voice?”

The curly haired brunet pouted up at his father. “But dad,” he whined, “we left my floaties in the car!”

“Oh for heavens-” Bilbo sighed and looked apologetically at the attendant as he handed over some money to Fíli. “We’ll be right back ma’am. Fee, we’ll meet you inside alright?”

With a sigh Fíli nodded before turning to the pool doors, eyes fliting over the people splashing around warily.

“It’s ok,” he told himself as he stepped through the doors, “you can do this. No one here will pay any attention to you whatsoever.”

 

* * *

 

“Oh my god! Look at that fat ass! That thing is going to bring the whole building down if he keeps walking!”

He couldn’t do this. There were kids laughing at him, teasing him, he _knew_ it was a bad idea to come here…

Why had he been so stupid?!

_Fat._

_Overweight._

_Repulsive._

_Ugly._

More cackles. More laughter. “Or he’ll drain the pool if he gets in! Hey fatboy! I don’t think the lifeguards want to spend their day mopping the floor because of you!”

_Fat. Overweight. Repulsive. Ugly. Fat. Overweight. Repulsive. Ugly. Fat. Overweight. Repulsive. Ugly._

He turned away; head ducked and shoulders hunched around his ears in shame as though it would help deflect the cruel words they continued to hurl at him, their voices dark with mocking laughter, each taunt shredding what little self-confidence he had until there was almost nothing left.

“Oi fatty! Wouldn’t you be more comfortable in a pig pen you whale!”

_FATOVERWEIGHTREPULSIVEUGLYFATOVERWEIGHTREPULSIVEUGLYFATOVERWEIGHTREPULSIVEUGLYFATOVERWEIGHTREPULSIVEUGLY!_

“KNOCK IT OFF!”

It was a new voice, one that sounded like a howling winter wind in its iciness and fury. Fíli stood rooted to the spot, too scared to look up at the newcomer in case they realised he wasn’t worth helping.

Because why would anyone want to help someone like him?

The footsteps grew louder as the man stormed over (how he managed it in a an area filled with wet tiles he had no clue) and in the brief moment he lifted his head Fíli got a glimpse of smiling brown eyes aimed at him. He ducked his head quickly, allowing his hair to cover his face as he turned around and headed for the changing rooms.

He didn’t hear the insults hurled at the man who had come to his defence.

He didn’t hear the man banish them from the centre permanently.

He didn’t hear the cheers from the other patrons as the group was escorted out under protest.

All he could hear was the blood rushing in his ears, each beat of his heart pounding out a continuous rhythm;

_Fat._

_Overweight._

_Repulsive._

_Ugly._

 

* * *

 

He left the changing rooms with his bag in a white knuckled grip, keeping his head low to hide his tear-stung eyes as he made his way for the exit.

Bilbo and Frodo were due to enter any time now, but they’d just have to swim without him. He’d sit in the car or walk home if he had too, but there was no way in hell he was staying in there after the utter humiliation he had just experienced.

“Hey!”

No. Nononono this couldn’t be happening. He was supposed to get out of here undetected!

“Wait!”

Fíli paused. It wasn’t the voice of one of the teenagers taunting him from before, but the voice of the man with a fury that rivalled a winter storm.

Only now his voice was warm, friendly and kind; a far cry from what it had been not long ago.

He wanted to leave, but the man had come to his rescue and he supposed the least he could do was give him a moment of his time, even though he was likely to tell him to not come back; after all the moment he walked in was when the problems had started.

Bowing his head and allowing his hair to cover his eyes once more he waited for the man to order him to leave.

“Hey.”

Again, the kind tone was not quite what he’d expected, and it left him in unknown territory.

He had no idea how to react to this situation!

“I’m so sorry about that, this centre is for everyone to use, and for everyone to feel comfortable in. Those idiots had no right to open their mouths and say anything to you in the first place, and I’ve banned them from the facilities for good to make sure it doesn’t happen in the future.”

He turned his head slightly, just enough for the brunet to hear him. “They were only telling the truth anyway.”

“No, they weren’t. There is nothing wrong with the way you look my friend, and even if you think there is, which there isn’t, the fact you’ve come in here to swim and try and make a difference already puts you above assholes like them. You should be proud of yourself and the way you look, and if you shed a little bit of fat in the process then that’s something to be proud of too.”

He couldn’t explain the anger that suddenly built up inside of him, but it was there. How dare this lifeguard; this well-built, fit, probably-never-had-the-urge-to-take-a-knife-and-carve-off-every-inch-of-fat-on-his-body lifeguard patronize him by saying that there was nothing wrong with the way he looked.

That he should be proud of the way he looked.

And what the hell gave him the right to make the assumption he was there to lose weight?

Arrogant bastard.

“It might be fine for you to be all body positive Mr Athlete’s Body,” he snapped, only just managing to reign in his anger for fear of creating another scene, “but it’s easier said than done for the rest of us. And who’s to say that’s why I’m here in the first place huh?!”

His outburst clearly took the other man by surprise if the look on his face was anything to go by, and just as quickly as his anger had flared up it fizzled out again leaving him mortified and ashamed.

“I’m sorry if I’ve offended you,” the man told him, “for it wasn’t my intention, and I’m also sorry you think that, but I won’t apologise for my beliefs. You’re an attractive man, and the fact that you can’t see what I and many others see is something you will have to work on in your own time. Please, stay and use the pool like you planned to. Those idiots are gone and no one else here will bother you.”

Although he still wanted to leave he knew that Bilbo would castrate him if he allowed some idiotic teenagers to ruin their trip out. And if what the lifeguard was saying was true then he shouldn’t have any problems with the other patrons.

What to do…

In the end it was the thought of a heartbroken Frodo that made him turn back to the changing rooms, wading through the tattered remains of his self-confidence but doing his best to collect what little he could find.

“Hey! By the way if you ever want to talk or want some advice my name is Kíli.”

Fíli turned his head slightly and nodded to show he’d heard him, but he knew deep down he would never follow through, especially not after what just happened.

It was then that he saw the poster advertising the gym facilities, big bold letters screaming what else the centre offered and how they could help change his life around.

He quickly scanned the poster, still unconvinced they would be able to do anything, but it was then he saw the bottom line which suddenly made him think.

**_Come talk to one of our many skilled Personal Trainers for advice on how to create the new you._ **

**_ Will it be easy? Nope. Will it be worth it?  _ **

**_ Absolutely. _ **

****

Maybe Bilbo was right. Maybe talking to someone about what was happening would help him get his life back on track.

And maybe, just maybe, they could help him repair his shredded bundle of confidence and build it into something new.


End file.
